Context: I had invited B over to my house to study for exams together. He was supposed to arrive at 3:00.
December 14, 1995 (Megan is 14)
It’s 3:40 and B isn’t here yet. He phoned me at 2:30 to get the directions ’cause his dad threw out the sheet, and said he was going to leave right then. But I don’t know what happened, ’cause he’s not here and I just phoned his house and no one answered so he’s not there. He must have gotten lost or something. I hope he doesn’t come while I’m baby-sitting, or phone, ’cause then I’ll miss him. I wonder what the heck happened to him? I hope he’s okay.
It is now 5:45 and I called B again about a half hour ago, but again no one picked it up. I’m beginning to wonder if he’s not supposed to answer the phone if no one else is home, like N. But that doesn’t explain why he hasn’t called me to tell me why he didn’t show up. It’s so stupid. I don’t see how he can go and act like he wants to come over when he doesn’t even care enough to call. I mean, what kind of game is this? ‘Cause it does seem like a game. “Let’s see how much pain I can inflict here,” that’s what it would be called. It is so incredibly stupid. He had a million times to back out or lie to get out of it. He could have just said no at the beginning, or said his father said he couldn’t, or anything. And what bugs me the most is that he must have meant to come. Why else would he call? So what is the point of all this? So I can write about the wonderful experience of liking someone who doesn’t even care? Well, I’ll tell you. I’ve been alternating between feeling like I’m going to cry and feeling like I’m going to throw up since about 3:30. It isn’t very pleasant. Hopefully, I’ll actually get a hold of him next time I call, so I can find out what he has to say for himself. I don’t know if I’m going to keep trying. Unless his reason is really good, probably not. It’s not worth it. It probably never was. Too bad I only learn that now.
Okay, I’m getting worried now. It’s 8:18 and I just called B again, and no one answered. His dad should be home by now even if he (B) is not picking up the phone, so someone should be answering. Unless something did happen to B somehow, like he got hurt or something. I don’t know. Or his dad could just be working late. Still… I hope I see him tomorrow.
I really hate this because the whole time I’ve been telling myself that he isn’t going to end up coming, and then I was so close to it I believed it was actually going to happen, but it didn’t after all.