Reader Secrets - Page 3
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In the seventh grade, I was extremely insecure. I didn't like the way I looked, I didn't like myself. I had two best friends. I told them both about my lack of confidence and my self-consciousness. One of them encouraged me and supported me. The other one kept teasing me until one day, she told everyone about my insecurities. Nobody ever looked at me the same way again. People were more cautious around me. They felt sorry for me. I was humiliated and ashamed. Because of my secrets being told, my confidence became even more lacking.
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When I was a senior we dissected fetel pigs. Well my friends and I really cut ours up. We cut into the head and scooped out the brain (which we "gave" to people). We cut into their spines etc. But the worst thing we did was cut off the tail. We then taped it in a girl's locker. She screamed when she saw it. Thankfully we didn't get in trouble!
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I did not have the greatest endurance in eighth grade, or anytime, for that matter, so why I thought it would be fun to enter a track meet I have no idea. Enter I did, however, and on the day of the meet, I sat alone in the bleachers waiting for my event to crop up (the rest of my friends were all in other events at the time). A few boys from my grade were sitting a couple of rows behind, and, as writers are wont to do, I began to eavesdrop. (Even if I hadn't, I would have heard them anyway. They didn't care who heard them.) They started laughing about how bad I was at running, and otherwise made fun of me. I don't think they knew I was there. After a minute of sitting in shock, I stood and slowly made my way down the bleachers, wishing I had the courage to confront them but just wanting to find somewhere quiet so I could cry. I wasn't very fast, but I did make it to the finish line.
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In seventh grade I was ridiculously, stalkerishly obsessed with a guy we'll call Robert. He was in most of my classes and I was too shy to talk to him, but I was convinced that if he could just get to know me a little bit, he'd like me too. There was a school dance coming up and I got all gussied up and went with a group of friends. Halfway through the night one of my friends managed to talk me into letting her go ask Robert if he'd want to dance with me. I watched her walk over to Robert and their conversation seemed to happen in slow motion. I couldn't tell what was going on based on their expressions, but my hopes kept rising and rising like balloons.
Finally my friend came over to me, a look of pity on her face. "He said he'd rather eat glass than dance with you," she informed me. Needless to say, I was heartbroken. Somehow I managed not to go running to the girls' bathroom in tears. Maybe Robert wasn't my soulmate after all. After that night my crush on him finally started to dwindle, and whenever I'd see him in school, I'd imagine throwing him through a window. (Then he'd know what eating glass was really like.)
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My best friend confided in me that, in sixth grade, she and another boy in our class had exchanged notes about liking each other. She hardly confided in anyone about crushes, and I swore I wouldn't tell anyone. However, I didn't keep my mouth shut, and I told someone who wasn't exactly known for keeping secrets about it because, for once, I wanted to be the one with the juicy piece of gossip. What you don't always think about with those juicy bits are that they usually started as someone's secret. This friend went to my BFF and asked her if it was true, and asked if they still liked each other, which I later found out from my BFF. I felt awful for sharing her secret, and apologized. At first, I was angry with the friend who told, but realized later that I should have been angry with myself. - Eighth Grade
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In the seventh grade, I was on the volleyball squad. I wanted to be captain but I didn't tell anyone that I wanted to be. My friend told me that she wanted to run and not tell anyone in case people were wanting to run for captain as well. She told me that she would wait until last minute to run. I, on the other hand, didn't tell her of my plans to become captain. She kept telling me her ideas while I was there, listening and chatting up the coach and my teammates secretly. The coach knew I wanted to become captain. On the day of the voting, my coach asked who wanted to become captain. My friend raised her had, so did another girl, and finally, I did. My friend looked at me in shock. She never knew I was running for captain. People voted. I won. She never told me anything else again...
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I was 14 years old, first year in high school and at the end of the years we had an oral presentation to do in a group of 2 or 3 people for my english class. Two of my friends and I decided to do the project together and we were to present my world-wide coin collection. One of the girls and I spent hours on the project while the other girl never showed up or did anything to help. So when came time to show our project to the class I mentioned to our teacher that the third girl didn't work at all on the project.
I don't remember what happened for the girl's grades because I ended up in hospital for surgery the weekend after (no I wasn't beat up lol) and I missed 2 weeks of school.
When I came back I had no more friends, the girl turned them all against me. Good side was there was only 2 weeks left before summer break and being in a big high-school (about 3 thousand students), I haven't been with those kids again in my classes.
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I was probably 14 or 15, and here's what I'd do to 'make curfew.' I'd come home from rollerskating or hanging out w/friends. I'd clomp up the stairs to my room, making sure to make plenty of noise. I'd open my parents' bedroom door, and whisper, "I'm home. Good night."
Then, as quietly as possible, I'd sneak back downstairs and go back out again w/my friends.
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Phys ed was a nightmare for me. I did, however, enjoy playing Doctor Dodgeball, especially when I got to be the doctor. The rule for all players was that, if a ball hit you, you were out. If it bounced before it hit you, you were fine to keep playing. I'm thinking of one particular time in grade 7 when balls hit me a couple of times, but they always bounced first, so I was good to go. Afterwards, in our changing room, I was changing in a bathroom stall because I was still really shy. I heard one of my classmates say to someone, "Did you see how ***** [me] cheated? It hit her so many times. She was so out." She ranted on about this for a while, and then I heard her voice fade away. And she said this not just in front of her friend but in front of everyone else in the changing room, and yet I guess she didn't stop to think that maybe I was in hearing distance too. She was normally nice to me, but apparently she didn't like me enough to give me the benefit of the doubt. I stayed in that stall until everyone (everyone but my best friend, as it turns out) had left.
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Just recently, when I started my freshman year here at my high school, I met a new girl called 'Kat'. She was extremely nice, and over a week, we became close friends. I really believed I could trust her so I told her who I liked. I told her to call him 'the dude' instead of his name because it would have been too obvious. Right after I told her my secret, she started using his name. She said "OMG! I CANNOT believe you like 'Jake'!" right when 'Jake' was passing by. He was my friend and he stopped and looked at me wierdly. "You like me?" he asked. "Uhh...no I don't! Jake is just the code name for the guy I REALLY like," I stammered. He knew I was lying, he always did. We were like brother and sister ever since that faithful day in English when we were seated together.
When he finally left, I got extremely mad at 'Kat'. I couldn't believe that I trusted her! This always happened to me! She told me that she didn't know that 'Jake' was passing by though and she was genuinely surprised. I forgave her but I don't tell her anymore secrets...at least the ones I need to keep!
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I don't remember exactly when this was - I think I was about 12 - but I went with a friend to her school dance. I didn't know anybody else there, but we ran into one of my friend's teachers, and I happened to mention that, the last time I went to a dance at a friend's school, my friend had left me alone in a sea of unfamiliar people and only rejoined me when she was ready to go. This teacher said, "Oh, that would never happen with our *****." I smiled, because I believed it. And this friend didn't abandon me. She did, however, inform me on the dance floor that my style of dancing was kind of dorky and that people were staring. From some people, this might have been well-meant, but I was having fun before that, and after that I had no idea what to do. I just stopped dancing altogether.
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